Sunday, March 29, 2015

Dear @thenewcheap..... "you aint got no yeezy"

Dear The New Cheap,

Please, please, please, help me out!! I'm trying to get my man an amazing "I think you're the best" present and he's been mentioning how much he likes the new Yeezys. Well...They are $400 and he's not that great! JK!! Is there any where I can get them for a better price? I would really like for him to have them!!

Thank you!

If you're attempting to buy sneakers you have to realize one thing... Coveted sneakers are like the pretty girl in high school. At an early age, she knows her worth and not many people ever get the chance to interact with her. If you're going to buy the Yeezys, you'll have to wait until they become over weight and have multiple children. Basically, there isn't a @thenewcheap way of purchasing these shoes without giving up way more than the retail price of $350. The only thing to do, if you really want these sneakers, is to sit back and wait until they've lost their aura.

BUT here's another option for getting a Yeezy-themed gift for your well deserving boyfriend...
Kanye is gearing up for an album this year which means a tour will follow. I suggest you purchase tickets to a Kanye show, instead of buying sneakers. Going to a concert creates a memory for both of you to share. I guarantee that the concert will be cheaper than the shoes.
- @thenewcheap

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

You dont get what you pay for, you get what you ask for.....

Free stuff. Who doesn't like it? A wise (cheap*)  man always told me that whenever you spend more than $100, you should get something free with the purchase. What started out as a joke during check out now provides dessert for my shopping trips. Recently, I purchased a bottle of cologne and during the checkout I asked the clerk for samples (fragrance companies will provide stores with small offerings of their cologne in an advertisement effort). The sales person rarely objects, as this small accommodation is building a rapport with you (and your pockets). So, whenever I ask for them, I get a bag full of samples during checkout. 

These samples are priceless! Samples SAVE! When I'm in between bottles, I will pull from my inventory of samples to get me through the stretch. Wearing these samples also allows for a proving ground for new cologne that I may potentially buy. If the cologne is well received, I will likely go back and purchase it. My nephews love to play in my grown man scents (equivalent of girls playing dress up), so when they visit, they can indulge in SAMPLES, not my expensive choice cologne. I also end up giving the samples to friends who visit, because most men don't realize they need/want cologne until they smell it on someone else! 

During the check out of the cologne and after the free samples, I ask "Do you have any bags?"I'm pushing it, I know-but this is the cherry on top. The sales woman goes into the back and pulls out this bag-a duffle by John Varvatos that I got just by ASKING for it! So when shopping, don't be afraid to ask for even more FREE stuff. An even wiser man once told me that there are two things a person can say when you ask a question., YES OR NO.  If the sales woman would've said no to the bag, I still would've walked out with the lions share of the deal.  Closed mouths don't get fed (or a free duffle bag).

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Dating after 25 is a lot like drafting after the 5th round……

Dating after 25 is a lot like drafting after the 5th round……
You could end up with a Tom Brady, but it’s likely you’ll end up drafting a player that won’t be on the team in two weeks. So with knowing this sad truth, you must begin dating like an NFL GM drafts.  I apologize to the football fans who understand the financial management of NFL rosters, but we’re going to briefly explain this process. In the months leading up to the NFL draft, players are evaluated and ranked. Players are drafted, and contracting negotiations start. Each player will receive a rookie contract, which has a cap based off the players’ union agreement with the league. This cap is how much money the team has to spend on players. The rookie contract is basically intern level pay compared to more senior level and accomplished players.  Once the player is out of the rookie contract, that is when the big money starts. But they only get a chance at this BIG money if they’ve played well over the course of the rookie contract. Many players drafted in the 5th round rarely make it to see the end of their rookie contract or even make the team.  More often than not, teams cut these players with very little financial impact to their cap.

Once again, I apologize to football fans for the redundancy over the GM player management process, but just stay with me … When dating, think of yourself as an NFL GM. Whether you’re drafting first round or seventh round, you need to be channel your inner Ozzie Newsome. Evaluate the talent like it is the NFL combine. Now, PLEASE don’t take this literally and request prospective lovers to run the forty yard dash in your driveway. But understand you only get so many draft picks. You need to choose who you will invest in wisely.  Before taking someone out on a date, you should do all the research you can on them, giving yourself the best chance for success. And know that there is a chance that you could and likely will be wrong (there’s always next year Browns fans!!). Once you arrive at the draft, you have to remember the NFL rookie contract restrictions.  So there’s a limit to how much you spend on the first couple of dates. Even if this is a can’t miss prospect! You have to remember Jamarcus Russell was a first round draft pick who stunk it up in the league, but is probably still buying that purple drink with those NFL checks. Find inexpensive dates, to minimize your loses if it doesn’t pan out. The only thing that hurts more than heartbreak is having your heart and bank account broken.  Now we don’t have a time limit for how long you should consider a person in the rookie contract phase. Once you realize they’ve “outplayed” the rookie contract, then you up the date spending. Even when someone is out of the rookie contract, you must keep in mind your Cap limits (your personal budget)! Know your personal budget.  If you over spend on a player, you could forfeit the success of your team. Sure Calvin Johnson is worth every penny, but it’s unlikely that the team will be successful because other areas suffer. As the GM, you must manage your team’s budget. So it’s up to you to think of dynamic ways to keep your star player around without hurting the team budget.